


im not gay, i just think that boy is pretty, ok im gay

by novatony



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gay, M/M, Multi, Please Forgive me, Social Media, Text Messages, Trans Peter Parker, Twitter, and the crack, dms, im so sorry for all the 2am chapters you're gonna get, it was peter's idea tho, no one is straight, texts, there are too many tags i want to add im not gonna even bother, twitter was a bad idea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-07-30 21:43:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20104069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novatony/pseuds/novatony
Summary: im warning you that this is literally me on crack and fixing (and failing horrifically) what happened in endgamestarted: aug. 3, 2019finished: -





	1. i've made a huge mistake

**Author's Note:**

> not my idea!! i was inspired by: 
> 
> twitter is onto something by pomegranateboy
> 
> Twitter But not good by SombraLuna
> 
> posted: aug. 3, 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spidey done goofed

spidey @officialspidey  
i think i've made a huge mistake  


↳Iron Man @TonyStark  
what did you do  


↳spidey @officialspidey  
so,,,, about that

  


Steve Grant Rogers @CaptainAmerica  
Hey Siri tweet hello world no not bellow world hello world no what Siri that is not what I said yes send tweet nO NOT BELLOW WO  


↳Iron Man @TonyStark  
@officialspidey i'm going to kill you  


↳Billionaire Philanthropist @TonyStark  
and excuse me??? siri???? what's FRIDAY to you??? chopped liver??  


↳Nat @blackwidow  
oh this is gonna be so much fun  


↳fuck a buck @jbarnes  
hey you finally joined the new age punk  


↳Steve Grant Rogers @CaptainAmerica  
why do you have your name displayed as "fuck a buck"  


↳clinty clit @hawky  
laNGUAGE  


↳Nat @blackwidow  
language  


↳Iron Man @TonyStark  
language capscicle  


↳spidey @officialspidey  
language mr captain america sir

  


tracey loves gays @novatony  
i dont know if i should thank spiderman for introducing steve to twitter or prepare for chaos  


↳mj @mjones  
both. both is good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! thanks for checking this crack shit out. comments and kudos are v much appreciated!! i have a tumblr if you wanna like,, check it out??? it's nova-tony
> 
> also !! if you wanna have some fun and stuff, i recently made a discord server so like if you wanna join, go ahead !!


	2. broadway (not really it's midtown high school's theatre club but ignore that fact), here i come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love the idea of theatre!mj so uhh,, pls enjoy this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hOly shiT thank u for so many hits already? i literally did this as a joke and also to bring my happy place to life yknow. thank u so much!!
> 
> posted: aug. 4, 2019

mj @mjones  
peter and ned managed to convince me to try out for the school musical and i did it to appease them but also as a joke but now i have the lead

↳pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
dont even try to hide your theatre nerd side!! you are Soft Nerd and you cant deny it

↳mj @mjones  
i know where you sleep at night.

↳ned @watchingporninachair  
you dont know where i live ha

↳mj @mjones  
your snapchat location's on and i have your location screenshotted

↳ned @watchingporninachair  
😅😰

fuck a buck @jbarnes  
spiderman just came into the tower with his headphones on and turned up belting hamilton. explain?

↳spidey @officialspidey  
a friend of mine got the lead of eliza for their school musical of hamilton and im very proud!!

↳mommy long legs @blackwidow  
get yourself a supportive friend like spidey

↳spidey @officialspidey  
thank u ms black widow ma'am

ned @watchingporninachair  
can you believe how often spiderman kisses the ground the avengers walk on mYgoD he called capt murica sir and black widow ma'am i cannot with this dude

↳flash (me) @thebetterflash  
so? i kiss the ground spiderman walks on

↳pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
i-isnt that unsanitary?????

↳flash (me) @thebetterflash  
shut it dickwad

↳mj @mjones  
you wont have a dick if you call him that again, thompson

↳flash (me) @thebetterflash  
ha like you scare me, little girl

↳Iron Man @TonyStark  
no, but i do

↳flash (me) @thebetterflash  
goTTA BLAST

↳pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
mr stark sir you didnt have to do that

↳Iron Man @TonyStark  
yes i did or else steve would have tracked him down and that would not be pretty

↳pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
@CaptainAmerica you didnt have to do that but thank u Sir

↳Steve Grant Rogers @CaptainAmerica  
from how often and how you speak of your friend, i can tell she means a lot to you and part of your family. your family is ours, buddy

↳pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
🥺🥺🥺

  


_ **imessage** _

_ **peter is spiderman classified** _

**theatre nerd**: if this leaves this groupchat, you will all be sleeping with one eye open tonight

**theatre nerd**: but i felt....odd.....seeing stark and captain america defending me like that

**theatre nerd**: obviously they barely know me, if at all, but still

**peta bread**: that's what you call a Soft Boi, mj

**spidey's sidekick**: bro, peter doesnt shut up about you whenever we go to the tower. and they've grown fond of you anyways. like today, they were all asking peter about how you were feeling about being lead in the play

**peta bread**: yea! apparently bucky's been in a few shows before and he said when i come back tomorrow, he'll hand me a list of tips and tricks to warm up and keep yourself calm!!

**spidey's sidekick**: don't forget the black widow making a promise that she'll attend every show to make sure no one gives you a hard time

**theatre nerd**: ......i might be able to get used to this....Soft Boi feeling

**peta bread**: uwu yayayaya

**theatre nerd**: say that again and that will be your last fucking uwu bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! thanks for checking this crack shit out. comments and kudos are v much appreciated!! i have a tumblr if you wanna like,, check it out??? it's nova-tony
> 
> also !! if you wanna have some fun and stuff, i recently made a discord server so like if you wanna join, go ahead !!


	3. i love play rehearsal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes i did use a bmc title sUE ME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. ily all for the love. ty (੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭
> 
> posted: aug. 6, 2019

mj @mjones  
i hate play rehearsals

↳pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
i love play rehearsal

↳ned @watchingporninachair  
because it's the best!

↳fuck a buck @jbarnes  
because it is fun

↳clinty clit @hawky  
i love play rehearsal

↳mommy long legs @blackwidow  
and i get depressed as soon as its done

↳Billionaire Philanthropist @TonyStark  
no, i'm not into self-harm

↳caw caw motherfucker @falcon  
dude, i swear, here check my arm!

↳Steve Grant Rogers @CaptainAmerica  
what is going on?

↳fuck a buck @jbarnes  
steVE YOU ASSHOLE YOU RUINED THE CHAIN

↳Steve Grant Rogers @CaptainAmerica  
t-the what?

↳tracey loves gays @novatony  
ohdear, steve you done fucked up

↳Steve Grant Rogers @CaptainAmerica  
what? what's going to happen now?

↳mj @mjones  
oh you'll see soon, mr patriot

pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
steven grant rogers ruined the theatre chain. he must suffer.

↳mj @mjones  
hoeboy i've got the popcorn

↳rip anthony @antmanlang  
everyone pray for america's ass

↳Steve Grant Rogers @CaptainAmerica  
I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON IM SCARED

pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
steve sleeps with iron man pj pants every night, different style and patterns every night

↳pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
steve doesn't like mushrooms, says they taste like feet dipped in spoiled lemon

↳Steve Grant Rogers @CaptainAmerica  
o-oh. oh no. oh god. peter i'm sorry please stop

↳mommy long legs @blackwidow  
what the fuck? you wear stark's pj's but not mine? screw you, i'm getting you black widow merch for your birthday and christmas

↳pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
steve's a heavy sleeper and nearly suffocated clint one time when he fell asleep on him

↳clinty clit @hawky  
still havent forgiven him for that

↳Steve Grant Rogers @CaptainAmerica  
please im sorry i wont do it again peter forgive me please stop i surrender

↳pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
very well.

pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
never interrupt play rehearsal.

Billionaire Philanthropist @TonyStark  
don't worry, everyone. steve's fine. just in a corner curled up rocking back and forth while murmuring apologies over and over again

↳fuck a buck @jbarnes  
serves him right

↳caw caw motherfucker @falcon  
hey tony, you think you could buy him all our merch to wear

↳Billionaire Philanthropist @TonyStark  
check the lobby

↳Dr. Banner @brucebanner  
TONY WHY ARE THERE 50 BOXES FULL OF AVENGERS PJS IN THE LOBBY

Steve Grant Rogers @CaptainAmerica  
i'm traumatized

↳Billionaire Philanthropist @TonyStark  
don't worry bud, we've all faced pete's wrath. mine was the time i accidentally told him star trek was better than star wars

↳fuck a buck @jbarnes  
i told him hadestown was better than dear evan hansen

↳mommy long legs @blackwidow  
i told him his knife aim was as bad as clint's piss aim

↳clinty clit @hawky  
yOU WHAT

↳mommy long legs @blackwidow  
oh look a dick

↳clinty clit @hawky  
what wheRE GIVE ME IT

tracey loves gays @novatony  
w-what just happened i am so confused eyE–

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! thanks for checking this crack shit out. comments and kudos are v much appreciated!! i have a tumblr if you wanna like,, check it out??? it's nova-tony
> 
> also !! if you wanna have some fun and stuff, i recently made a discord server so like if you wanna join, go ahead !!


	4. the 5 hour energy debate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the most iconic debate of all time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! so sorry for the late post but it's here !! albeit it's currently 1:33am but shhh we dont talk about that. 
> 
> posted: aug. 9, 2019

spidey @officialspidey  
so harley asked me a question that still has me reeling and !!!

↳Billionaire Philanthropist @TonyStark  
did he ask if he can taste your webs again?

↳mommy long legs @blackwidow  
harley asked what now???

↳wanda maxipad @thatredwitch  
he is a problem child, dropped too many times as a baby

↳harley-davidson @chickenlittle  
i was curious!

↳fuck a buck @jbarnes  
indulge us, spider boy. what did he ask this time

↳spidey @officialspidey  
first of all, it's spider MAN. second, would half a 5 hour energy bottle give me 2.5 hours of half-assed energy or 2.5 hours of 5 hours worth of chaotic energy

↳Steve Grant Rogers @CaptainAmerica  
2.5 hours of half-assed energy? i mean you're only taking half

↳caw caw motherfucker @falcon  
no no it would be 2.5 hours of 5 hours worth of energy because it's called 5 hours energy drink. it'd just all be crammed into 2.5 hours

↳harley-davidson @chickenlittle  
I BOUGHT ONE WE SHALL EXPERIMENT

↳Dr. Banner @brucebanner  
haRLEY NO SPIDERMAN DONT YOU DARE

↳Billionaire Philanthropist @TonyStark  
I WILL THROW YOUR SUIT AWAY SPIDEY DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT

clinty clit @hawky  
why did i just hear a scream and the sounds of glass shattering in the lab

↳Dr. Banner @brucebanner  
they are wHERE NOW?! TONY YOU SAID YOU LOCKED IT

↳Billionaire Philanthropist @TonyStark  
I DID

↳harley-davidson @chickenlittle  
i overrode friday

↳FRIDAY @friday  
HE SAID HE WOULD REPLACE ME WITH SIRI

↳Steve Grant Rogers @CaptainAmerica  
i just had to dodge a blur of red, black, and blue from slicing my head off with my shield – hEY MY SHIELD GIVE THAT BACK

ned @watchingporninachair  
so glad im not at the tower today

↳pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
weLL I AM YOU IDIOT

↳harley-davidson @chickenlittle  
PETER SCREAMS LIKE A LITTLE GIRL

↳pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
MY HEAD WAS NEARLY BLASTED OFF WITH A LASER IM S O R R Y

↳flash (me) @thebetterflash  
that's because he is a girl

↳fuck a buck @jbarnes  
there's a line and you crossed that line

↳mommy long legs @blackwidow  
run.

↳clinty clit @hawky  
oh look, an innocent target. would be a shame if it got t a s e r e d

↳flash (me) @thebetterflash  
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

↳pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
oh mr barton ms romanoff you really,,, didn't have to do that,,,,, !!! it's ok !!!!!

↳mommy long legs @blackwidow  
mommy needs to eat

↳clinty clit @hawky  
i need to practice

↳pete(a) bread @parkerpeter  
eYE-

tracey loves gays @novatony  
top #4859: never insult peter or your head will be on a stick

↳mj @mjones  
we been knew bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! thanks for checking this crack shit out. comments and kudos are v much appreciated!! i have a tumblr if you wanna like,, check it out??? it's nova-tony
> 
> also !! if you wanna have some fun and stuff, i recently made a discord server so like if you wanna join, go ahead !!
> 
> also, are the links working for you guys??? cuz it's not for me and i am !!!! idk what to do ):


End file.
